“Jesus! Soldier?” he said as if it was a bad word. “I ought to kick your ass and knock some sense in you. In the muck and mud, bugs, rations, rain, bullets coming at you, are you crazy. Navy will give you a home in a ship with a roof over your head and damn...
“I really didn’t throw it at you, it was meant for my pal,” I said.
“Threw them overboard?” I said.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
So back in detention.
At fifteen I was already playing in a band, making money, I had already been on TV with my band, our manager was a disc jockey so he had us at the radio station recording studio which was a great experience. I, RJ Holland was going to be a rock star so school was a waste of time.
Damn.
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“I always wanted to be a soldier like my grandfather and my dad,” I said finding it easier to talk to this intimidating man.
“But you’d have to stay with me Mr. Canfield,” I said pushing it.
My sisters, twins Lori and Tracy were in Grade 12 at my school and they were already on their way as fashion models. They too started their career at 15. They had eidetic memory and whizzed through school at the top of their class.
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“That’s okay,” he said softly staring into my eyes, then he roared, “BECAUSE I HAVE FUCK ALL TO GO HOME TO EXCEPT A CAT WHO IS SCRATCHING THE SHIT OUT OF MY NEW COUCH!” His wife had divorced him three months ago.
This following detention I remember like it was yesterday
“That wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for someone else, it just turned and rammed into your desk.”
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“I must say you are getting better in math. I have to ask though, are your sisters helping you?” I nodded. “Thought so, your formulas are the same as theirs, abbreviated and quick to the point. Smart girls. Sometimes I think THEY should be teaching math class.”
Simply staying after school and either doing homework, schoolwork, reading or what have you. Sometimes a long lecture and if you really did something bad a strap then detention. Boring and terrible that you had to stay longer at a place you couldn’t wait to get out of. Of course the teacher also had to stay.
“Did you like the Navy Mr. Canfield?” And then it started, his memories in the Navy. He loved the Navy but had to leave because of an accident.
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I didn’t take school serious, especially high school because I didn’t think I needed it. I could read and write and do math, that’s all I needed. I would never, ever do the crazy assed math they taught in high school unless I was going to be a rocket scientist.
“We’ll wait RJ,” Lori said. I always got a ride to school then home with the girls.
Luckily it was changed to half an hour.
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“Well it must have been a Mitsubishi Zero then because it just committed suicide, FOR YOU!”
“WHO THE FUCK THREW THIS!” he bellowed. That’s exactly what he said. Now a few students saw me throw it. He stood up and glared at us. “If the Jack Ass that threw this doesn’t stand up in thirty seconds, you are all getting an hour detention!” Bert who sat behind me slugged me in the shoulder. I slowly stood up.
“Any thoughts of joining the military?” He asked.
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I had to go to my sisters and tell them I had a half hours detention. I told them what happened. Lori and Tracy looked at each other then burst out laughing.
He stared at me. “Do you know what we did with stupid assholes like you in the Navy?” He asked me.
He picked it up and unfolded it and read it.
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He looked at me. “I know, that’s why I shortened it to half an hour. This was intended more for the others in class in case THEY wanted to start fooling around.”
“One hour detention smart ass,”he said in a growl.
I fooled around in class. I got in trouble. My pal to the right of me a few desks away told me a stupid joke on a note. I wrote on a piece of paper, YOUR AN IDIOT and folded it into a paper airplane and when the teacher wasn’t looking, I threw it at my buddy. The plane suddenly did a left hand turn and landed on the teachers desk, my math teacher. Tall and hefty with a brush cut, deep booming voice, this guy could have been a Marine DI, however, he was ex Navy.
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